Thursday, 15 September 2011


I'm in hospital tomorrow. It's nothing serious, just some tests that are a bit on the unpleasant side. I 'm really not looking forward to it but I'm not as worried as I expected to be. This is partly because I'm having them done at the Nuffield (thanks NHS!) and they've been really great keeping me in the loop and having time to answer my questions. But I think the main reason I'm not worried is I'm distracted.

And I'm distracted because I am starving.

My stomach thinks my throat's been cut! Yesterday my diet was limited, today it's non-existent. I'm  allowed water and black coffee and fizzy drinks. I can have bovril and and oxo cubes dissolved in hot water (yum) and boiled sweets...mustn't forget the boiled sweets. Now I'm not obsessed with food. I like it, obviously. I enjoy eating it and I enjoy cooking it but if I'm doing something I'm interested in or just plain busy I can go all day and forget I haven't eaten until supper time. But not today.

Today, because I know I can't eat, all I can think about is food. And of course because food is forbidden I won't be satisfied tomorrow afternoon with a nice crunchy salad and a creamy yogurt, oh no! I want chips, and cream cakes, and steak (nice, juicy rare steak), and jaffa cakes. I need jaffa cakes, a whole box of them, all to myself. So I'm a jaffa cake fiend, I make no apologies for that. I'm going to nibble around the edge and then eat the jelly bit, just like I used to as a child and get chocolate all over my fingers.

Oh yes, tomorrow will be the day my mother's threat of old will come true. I will eat so many Jaffa Cakes I will finally turn into one.

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