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Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Weathering the Storms of 2012

I think it's safe to say that 2012 wasn't my greatest year and I, for one, am glad to see the back of it.

I started out with hope, like most of us do, for the clean, fresh year ahead. 2011 hadn't been a bad year, not a great year certainly but it had been OK. There had been the roller coaster ups and downs that mark our passage through most twelve month periods and that's only natural, but it had also been a dull year, a stagnant year. It was year marked with a sense of waiting, of marking time. I was ready, or so I thought, for the changes, the movement, I felt sure 2012 would bring.

2012 has been a bitch.

My son was hit by car.
My step-grandson died when he was born prematurely.
My Dad had a stroke.
And Pneumonia.
And another stroke.
My Step-Dad was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer.
Complications during his operation to hopefully remove the tumour led to an emergency operation a few days later to also remove his spleen.
He still needs chemotherapy and the prognosis is not good.
There has been a split in my step-family, a major rift I don't know how, or even if I want, to heal.
The Mad Druid is ill. Much more so than he's letting on. I fear a chest infection that won't heal (it's been months now) is a symptom of something much worse.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

I thought 2012 was to be a year of changes and I took that to be a good, positive thing (and maybe it still is) and looked forward to it, but for those changes to take place there has been a destructive process, a tearing away of comfort and security. For new things to grow the ground must be cleared, but that is a painful process. The storm clouds must gather before we can truly appreciate the blue.

I have been through turmoil of many different kinds this year, I have experienced emotions of frightening intensity, and learnt much about myself in the process.
Though the storm may rage, and the shores of my life may be battered, there are some things that are so strong, so solid, that I can anchor myself to them and ride out any storm, no matter how savage.
And no matter how bad things seem, as long as I hold true to the things, and the people, I believe in instead of forcing myself into a pattern that is not really me, there will always be a light in the dark
and rainbows
and blue sky...

If we know where to look for it.
Life is what we make it. 2013 will be what I make it.

I'm not expecting it to be easy, in fact I'm expecting a wild and difficult ride, but what 2012 has taught me is that I can make every minute of it count, if I want to.

Oh, and there was one good thing to come out of 2012
My newest Grandson x

9 comments:

  1. You are so right. 2012 was HORRIBLE. I won't go into everything I dealt with - this is your blog and these are your reflections. I just want to say I am so with you on this.

    Wishing you a much, much, MUCH better year in 2013!!!

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    1. Wishing you a lovely 2013, and with a your new arrival iminent, I'm sure it will be :)

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  2. I hear you, I posted on my own blog about 2012 being a crap year all round (for most it seemed). However I am hoping for positive changes and developments in 2013.

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    1. Last year seems to have been draining for many of us, on so many levels. Wishing you a 2013 full of positive energy and achievements x

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  3. So not all 2012 was bad..lets hope 2013 brings us all better health and happines
    xx

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    1. Better health and happiness is something I shall definitely raise a glass to! May 2013 be a positive year all round x

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  4. What a terrible year. I hope 2013 will be more gentle.

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    1. I hope so too, I could do with the rest. lol
      Blessings for the New Year x

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